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Actual Sports Comments Made On The Air

"And this is Gregoriava from Bulgaria, I saw her snatch this morning and it was amazing!" -- Pat Glenn - weightlifting commentator

"Andrew Mehrtens loves it when Darryl Gibson comes inside of him." -- New Zealand rugby commentator

"This is a really lovely horse. I once rode her mother." -- Ted Walsh - horse racing commentator

"I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body." -- Winston Bennett

"The black players at this club lend the side a lot of skill and flair, but you also need white players to balance things up and give the team some brains and common sense." -- Crystal Palace chairman Ron Noades, speaking in 1991)

"The lead car is absolutely unique, except for the one behind it which is identical." -- Murray Walker - FI racing commentator

"I owe a lot to my parents, especially my father and mother." -- Greg Norman

"Sure, there have been deaths in boxing but none of them serious." -- Alan Minter

"If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same thing again." -- Terry Venables

"I would not say that David Ginola is the best left winger in the Premiership, but there are none better." -- Ron Atkinson

"Ah, isn't that nice. The wife of the Cambridge president is kissing the cox of the Oxford crew." -- Harry Carpenter at the Oxford-Cambridge boat race 1977)

"Julian Dicks is everywhere. It's like they've got eleven Dicks on the field." -- Metro Radio

"One of the reasons Arnie is playing so well is that, before each tee shot, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them. ... Oh my God! What have I just said?!!!" -- US PGA commentator