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MUSINGS
OF A
SENIOR
GODDESS

Carolyn Kaiser, strutting in Bath, England while awaiting clothes from a Laundromat.
As an equal-opportunity columnist, as often as possible I open Suddenly Senior to real wisdom. Here again, words from my lovely wife, Carolyn.

A special thank you to everyone who sent their love and prayers as I struggled to overcome the effects of the bite of a Brown Recluse spider. I’m fine now!

By Carolyn Kaiser

Ilook in the mirror and see wrinkles, so aptly called "character lines" by the advertising world. I earned every one of them, but really could get by with a little less character.

Those wrinkle creams don't seem to work like their ads say they will. "Erase the fine lines of aging." Fine lines must have to be really fine. Not embedded like old tire ruts in dried mud. Where's my refund?

It's certainly not fair that such a young, energetic, trivia-filled mind like mine should be housed in such a rundown old Temple. My local drug store stocks hair color that will convince everyone that I am still a flaming redhead, June Allyson is selling adult diapers. Please let me die before I need those.

How come they are using such small print nowadays? My glasses have escaped again. Stairs have certainly gotten steeper. Long, slow walks at sunset, sweeter.

Who cares if Britney Spears' marriage lasts? And why is Paris Hilton such an interesting personality?

I never did seem to find the time to learn all the words to Louie Louie.

The King is dead. Where's Cab Calaway and his Minnie? Where's The Count and Lady Day? And Bird? Nobody sang like old Blue Eyes; today the Rat Pack is holding court elsewhere.

Why are all the contestants on reality TV shows such whiny brats? No thank you, I really don't want to work for Donald Trump.

What's with this gansta rap? And why is the word bitch used in every song? Call me old fashioned, but I remember when ladies were all the rage. Jolting Joe has left and gone away.

Hackers under voting age can screw up your credit, peace of mind, and lifestyle. It's not all science fiction that the next war may be fought by people who have the capacity to erase the planet and all its wonders with a keystroke. Have we learned too much too fast, with no consideration for ethics or values?

I'm old enough to remember when a computer was so large it filled a whole room and our information was stored on cards with holes in them.

    Suddenly Trivia: Who played the seductive Mrs. Robinson in the movie, The Graduate? a) Ann Bancroft, b) Sophia Loren, c) Candice Bergen

I love, enjoy, and cherish these hours and months and days that I am given to spend with that handsome man who came into my newly sober and straight life 24 very short years ago, and rescued me from a marriage that was a slow death march.

How we both entered a new relationship with still smarting wounds and way too many bad memories. How we learned to trust again. We fooled everyone, especially ourselves and here we are, growing old together, albeit not so gracefully. We even found the courage to skydive, even lived to write and tell about it.

It's all a balancing act, easier when someone's there to steady the tightrope. It's one of life's greatest gifts and I'm thankful.

I see his wrinkles too, and love them all. I have memories of how they got there, not a few of which came along with adopting my sons, making them his own, and providing them with the first real father they had ever known. Then becoming a grandfather, a title he never considered before that fateful date when we met. I think this whole thing is working out well.

Youth is, indeed, wasted on the young.

© 2004 — Carolyn Kaiser

    Suddenly Trivia Answer: a) Ann Bancroft.

* To help identify spiders, go to http://www.termite.com/spider-identification.html

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