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SUDDENLY SENIOR’S “ONLY IN FLORIDA”

Hurricanes, teacher seductresses,
gaters and pythons at the back door.


Back in our day, school was, well, a bore. Today, teachers on bikes seduce 14-year-old boys, science teachers share their home-grown pot, and soon Florida students can shoot bullies, teachers, even parents pretty much at will.
A Field Guide to Fla. Hurricanes for those considering retirement down here. Three days that changed our Florida world. What it was like before, during, and after the most destructive hurricane since Andrew.

As if we didn't have enough problems down here. In addition to ever more savage hurricanes, rapacious developers, and arguably the most venal politicians on earth, Florida now claims the title, Python Capital of the Nation.

Readers warned me: One more disparaging word about President Bush and God would get me. Now, after four hurricanes that may or may not be my fault, I've got the whole state of Florida mad at me, especially poor little Babson Park.

In Florida, geezers rule. If a politician wants to stop us from driving, we just shoot him. It's the law down here.

If you ever want to get away from it all, and return to the friendlier world you knew as a kid, I suggest that you visit or retire to Florida's Madison County. Its comfort and ease is akin to that first deep breath you take as you step off a jet following a particularly harrowing flight.
Although no one can possibly know exactly what was in this mother's head when she systematically murdered her five children, I have traveled to the dark outskirts of that hell in which she found herself. I feel compelled to tell you what it was like for me.

Is this the end of the road? The final step before The Last Roundup? Living in the land of "Early Bird Specials," shuffleboard, and shuffling octogenarians, Frank takes a look at his new home "On Top of the World."


YEAR-END MESSAGES TO READERS

What started as a fluke is today read by over two-million seniors in 131 countries. How did this happen? A look inside Suddenly Senior.

Allow me to breeze over the death threats I received after publishing my Terri Schiavo column and the 1,255 cancellations prompted by my antiwar piece...

A look back on a year of government flimflam, Pharma shenanigans, and Congressional sleaze — all to the detriment of seniors — with some wonderfully bright and shining moments thrown in, making 2004 OK, even to the follically challenged among us.

THANKSGIVING, 2004

Frank compares the '30s and '40s of his childhood with today and finds that we still have a lot to be thankful for, especially here in America. Check this out!

CHRISTMAS/NEW YEAR
2003-04

A look back with gratitude at a year when readership reached one million, when we giggled and laughed at ourselves and scared the hell out of Congress and AARP. Check this out!


THANKSGIVING, 2003

What do we seniors have to be thankful for? If you don't know, check this out!


Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.

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